Updated: Nov 8, 2019
I have really connected to a friend of my mom's. When they were just little girls, they met and became fast friends. They lived next door to each other in Junction Stretch when my mother was just about three years old. And then again when they were older at a different address (around eleven years old) they walked to school together. They would wear their rain boots out of the house because their parents insisted; however, they didn't want to wear them to school and would take them off and store them behind the church. After school, they would go back to fetch the boots and put them back on as if they never left their feet. They were so clever, or so they thought.
That's funny for me to hear. Things that happened way before I was in the picture. Hearing stories of my mom when she was a little girl really inspires and excites me because, of course, I didn't know her as a child!
When Nancy speaks to me, it is a combination of her experience as an oncology nurse, a Hospice worker, a personal caregiver to her husband; not to mention, a friend of my mom. She knows that my mother does not want me to be in a solemn state and she is right. I know that my mom does not want me to mourn the loss of her, but to continue on with my journey in life just as if she were still here.
This friend of hers has a lot of great information to share as far as getting over personal loss. Not to mention, she has expressed to me that she is a 'mother' and as such, she doesn't want HER children to suffer when SHE passes on. And she is certain that my mother would not want me to suffer and to move on with my life. And, deep down, I know this. But it is a hard thing to 'get over'!
However, the fact remains, that she is not here to offer me guidance and direction anymore. I really relied on her for her input on whatever project I was working on at the time. She was my right hand woman; my devil's advocate. She was an extension of myself. We actually used to make jokes that I was the man of the house, out making the money, and she was the wife . . . there to take care of the house and the paperwork and the day to day.
I guess my point is this, I have connected with my mother's friend and I am so grateful for that. It seems that when you lose someone you love . . . somehow, you lose a lot of other friends as well. I don't really understand it, but it happens.
I cannot thank Nancy enough for being there for me!